New Year, Same Me..........New Habits??

Ok, so it's March.  Where has this year gone?!  I've been working toward bettering myself and investing in my future.  In general, I've always been satisfied with the person that I am.  I have a close, loving family, supportive, creative, loving friends, and my dream job.  Literally.  I also have the worlds most adorable kitten, (no, I'm not joking.  He's my precious........), and a small, but cute

apartment that's all mine.  Things are going well.  And I've decided to keep that momentum.  I am currently attempting to master the fine art of cooking healthy, for one.  Lol.... It can be difficult, but mostly it's fun.  I spent an hour and a half cooking one simple meal of Chicken, Rice and Broccoli last night.  HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO COOK BROWN RICE?!  My sister, Gloria, thought that rice cookers were the most ridiculous thing ever.  She claimed that rice was the most simple dish ever.  Pft!  I disagreed. Are you kidding me?!  I was always burning rice. Well, first on my list of, "Things I must learn when

cooking for one", was mastering rice in a pot. Which I did! My WHITE rice comes out perfectly cooked Every. Single. Time.  So why is brown rice different?  Three nights in a row now, I've made brown rice, and it always comes out partially uncooked. Grrrrrr..... What do I need?  More heat?  Less heat?  More water? Less rice? Whatever.  I will keep going until I get it right.  In any case, my dinners over the last few nights have been absolutely delicious. And all I can think of is just how great I feel when I'm putting together a health, yummy meal for one; or when I'm balancing my carefully planned budget; or giving up a weekend vacation so that I have money to pay for my Dental Bills.  :(  I actually feel accomplished.  I feel ready.  Not sure for what, but just..... ready.  It's truly a great feeling.  :)

Maybe I'll be ok.

Six months ago, my Dr. diagnosed me with diabetes.  I have to take metformin 2x a day.  :(  On top of my anxiety medication and my birth control, I feel constricted.  I take pills every morning at 8:45.  And unfortunately, if I take my birth control too much later or earlier than I did the day before, I risk throwing off my hormones.  :(  I am not a fan.  Of hormones.  Or pill.  Waaaa!!!  And to make matters works, Trump is president.  Aye.  Oh, what a world.

In other news, I stepped on the scale this morning, and much to my surprise, it read '275'.  Which is crazy because just a couple weeks ago I was weighing in at 287.  I guess I can chalk it up to being poor, tho.  I really have not been watching what I eat, or, God forbid, excersizing!   But I have had a really tight budget lately, so there's a lot more eating at home and packing lunches than I'm used to.  I guess it's a good boost, since I WILL begin working out with my little sister come Monday.  The dreaded MONDAAAAAAAY.  Why do people always start Monday?  Like it's the perfect day to start, because it's the beginning of the week?  I feel like it's maybe the WORST day to start.  Everyone hates Mondays.  But I've had a very expensive gym membership for several months now, and I've only used it like, 3 times.  :(  If I'm going to waste the money on an expensive club membership, I should at lease use it, right?  Blech.  As stated in my previous post, I lack motivation these days.  Especially now that I have my very own place!  All I want to do after work is hunker down with my Prince Henry (yes, he's a cat.  I'm a cat lady now.) and watch movies until I'm tired.  Then I sleep.  Until 7.  7:30.  Okay, usually 7:45.  Although my alarm clock goes off at 7 EVERY SINGLE MORNING.  I hit snooze.  twice.  Sometimes thrice.  I am so. un. motivated. But my seester wants us to get to the gym by 6 am Monday Tuesday Thursday Friday.  I have no idea how imma do it.  BUT I WILL!!!!!  Though I lack motivation, I really have a desire to loose weight and move more.  I'm so sloth-like!  I absolutely hate it.  Also, don't tell anyone, but sometimes I smoke.  There.  I've said it, it's out there.  TELL ME TO QUIT.  But I challenge you to NOT try and educate me on the health implications of it.  That information is totally lost on me.  I already know it.  And I'm smoking anyway.  Any OTHER bits of motivation you can stir up in me to quit?  I'd appreciate it.  :)  LET'S DO THIS.....!!?

Getting older.....

So... here's the thing.  I am getting older.  :(  I feel like I've aged 10 years in the last 5 years.  My skin kind of sucks.  I've developed this annoying, flaky, dry patch between my eyebrows and along the beginning of my right brow.  I'm fatter than ever (284 YIKES!!!).  I cut my hair and now I never feel like doing it, so it hangs lifeless and frizzy at my shoulders.  And, oh yeah!  I lost a tooth.  One that you CAN SEE IN MY SMILE LINE.  Ugh.  I keep telling myself to get up, dust off, and keep trucking.  I've had minor successes in the past, and I know I can do it again!  I don't know if it's getting older, or the redundancy that is making me loose motivation, but I don't feel beautiful anymore.  I have almost always felt beautiful in the past.  No matter what size I am.  And it's honestly still not about the size.  I've lost motivation for simple things like doing my hair and make up.  Simple things that will make be feel so much better, I KNOW it.  But I'm just... not doing them!!!  I feel like picking up this blog AGAIN will help me to feel accountable for what I am/am not doing with myself.
Something super confusing to me is that I actually should be SOARING right now on the emotional wagon.  I have the best job I have ever had in my life and I honestly LOVE it.  I just got my very own adorable apartment, and I can actually afford it!  I bought a new car that has A/C in it!  Things are looking really good.  But there are several things that I just know I am taking advantage of, and I really want it to stop!  I still sneak cigarettes in every once in a while (more often then I'll actually admit), and my eating habits are horrible.  I don't work out.  I don't do my hair.  I don't do my nails.  I don't do my make up.  I don't read.  I don't cook.  I AM A LAZY MOTHER EFFER......

I think I'm getting worked up.  Does this sound like a rant?  It's totally a rant.  I am going to leave you with this:  I will return to the beauty I once was.  I'm not sure how it's going to start, but I'm going to blog about it!  I have not excuses why not to now.  PLEASE HELP ME ON MY JOURNEY!!!!  I really want this to be time I really make it happen.

Bikini Day!

Hi. I've lost some weight. SOME weight. Not a lot. In my case, it's very little. 22 lbs. Yeah, I know.... great job Michele! However, when you start at 269, 22 pounds later is still 244. And honestly, I feel my clothes fitting differently, but they are still the same size clothes. No one even notices. I think I can kind of see a difference in my face.... anyway, it can get kind of frustrating. But I just keep doing what I'm doing. I feel a lot better, that's for damn sure. My roomies and I decided to have a 'family day' at the lake, and it was SO MUCH FUN! We donned our bikini's (except for Eric. Being 'the dude' of the house, he opted for shorts. Lame.), and had ourselves a bonafide lake day. Yup. It was awesome. Until Haylie decided to pull us all under water while Eric photographed it. (Bitch. Love her.) Anyway, the results are below. As you can see, I am still far from Bikini ready, but you know what? I'm thankful for my body. I love it. I am heading full speed toward victory in this weight loss battle, and it FEELS FREAKING GOOD! :D

I'M LOSING IT!!!!

So, if you've read my previous blogs, you know that my sister and I are doing a bikini body challenge. OH. EMM. GEE. I have not been trying. Well....that's not entirely true. I have been cooking many more home made meals. But that's just because fast food is not so readily accessible as it was in Phoenix or Vegas. But I have done NO excersize. Unless you count all the drunk walks home from the bar, which I DO....(because there are MANY). Anyway, we started this challenge about a month ago, and I weighed in at....DRUM ROLL PLEASE....I'M SERIOUSLY ABOUT TO SAY IT....THIS IS BARING ALL, FOLKS....261! No, seriously. Two friggin hundred and sixty friggin one pounds. Well, I SHOCKED myself today when stepping on the scale and seeing the number 246. 246! I've lost 15 pounds! I couldn't believe it. It made me actually want to TRY! I know I can lose more weight. I know I can do it better. I know I can be healthier. This blog has gone on long enough. I'm going to the lose the weight, and turn this blog into a healthy eating blog. I'm so cool. YASSSS! (I SAY my yes's with an A, so I think I should start spelling them that way. It's more accurate. And I am not a liar.) On a side note, I was totally going to write a blog for the fourth of July, but then I went to watch the fireworks and sing 'Merican songs instead. :D These are pics from the beginning of the night. My phone died before we could document the true Red White and Blue Debauchery!

Banana WHAT?!

Banana Pancakes. Not just banana flavored pancakes. And there are no banana chunks in these bad boys. I'm talking: blend a banana in a food processor with an egg, a little cinnamon and vanilla, and voila! Pancake batter. WHAT?! Ridiculous? You don't believe that it's that easy? Well, it is AND it's not. The batter really is as easy as it sounds. It's the cooking part I'm having trouble with. The consistency of these 'pancakes' is similar to a crepe, but somehow still puffy like a pancake. I can't seem to cook them on low enough heat. If I cook them low and long, they get really dark (but they don't taste burnt, so this is how I ended up cooking them all). I did experiment with high and fast, but they just spread all over the pan and they were difficult to flip. I topped them with a delicious peanut butter syrup made from 1 Tsp pb and 2 Tsp agave syrup. You can use whatever syrup you want, tho. All in all a hit, but they took a really long time. I don't think I'll make them again unless I have a griddle. Making them in a pan takes just WAY TOO LONG! Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA AND AMERICA!!!!! My bestie, Jessica Milligan (not Jessica Blow) was born on the fourth of July, just like Uncle Sam. :D Love you both!

coloRADo

Oh, hi guys. So, here's the thing. I really suck at this. The whole blogging thing. But I'd like to get better. So I'm going to try to commit to blogging at least twice a week. We'll say.....Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ok, well maybe I won't exactly commit to certain DAYS, but I will definitely do the the twice a week thing. My sister and I did this super hideous bikini contest last summer. For those of you that don't know..... Rachel and I pretty much have the same body type. That is to say, neither of us really have any business wearing anything close to or resembling a bikini.....Meh. So, the story goes that we were going on vacation to Myrtle Beach, and decided that we were going to lose some weight, and whoever lost the least amount of weight had to wear a very shameful bikini on the beach. Well, I lost. Yes, I will post pictures. Anyway, we are doing it again this summer. The deadline is August 17th. I have no idea how well my sister is doing, but I haven't done shit. (DISCLAIMER! THERE IS SWEARING IN THIS POST!) Teehee..... Okay, so I moved to Colorado (which is totally awesome), and went on a tiny miniature little hike, and then an even tinier miniature bike ride. But I took lots of pictures, so it looked like it was really long. (Totally on purpose). But that's it! I like in the middle of the friggin mountains, but I can't bring myself to actually go out there and enjoy them! (of course, I say this as I sit in my house, typing on my computer, gazing out the window at this lovely day that is quite possibly optimal for hiking.... I'm not exactly an expert tho....) OKAY! So all of this comes down to this moment right now: I'm still not going to be a hiking guru. However, I am determined to make these last 6ish weeks count. So the blogs I write will, again, be all about what I am doing to make them count. Food, exercise, Food, Food. More food than exercise. Might not be any exercise. :( I HATE EXERCISE!!!! My roommate, Eric goes on a daily 100 mile bike ride. Or hike. He's so gross. I prefer to park in the very last stall at Walmart, and walk all the way to the front, and then all the way back to my car with my groceries. That counts. So here's what I ate today: Cheerios with almond milk. And I made myself some chicken and veggies sauteed with Italian dressing for dinner at work tonight....(ugh, nigh shift!). For lunch, I will most likely drink a diet shake and eat an apple or something like that. I will FOR SURE let you know, tho. This is a COMMITMENT!

Whine, wine, unwind.

So.... the thing is, I haven't been doing anything healthy as of late. And on top of that, I've begun indulging on drinking wine whenever I need to unwind... (which is quite often lately!) I freakin LOVE the feeling of having a glass or two of wine, relaxing on my couch, listening to soft music and blogging. Yum. FAVORITE. What I don't like, is that whenever I have an emotional moment, I turn to the ever dreaded "Spicy McChicken" from Mickie Ds. I LOVE this sandwich. It's like my evil NEMESIS!!! I totally got stood up tonight. NOT a great feeling. And what did I do? Well, it was a TWO mcchicken night. Only one glass of wine, but I started the night with two screwdrivers. Actually, I'd kill for a friggin cigarette right now, but that's another dirty habit I need to chuck. Oh, for dirty habits.

SPAGHETTI

Womans best friend. Seriously. At this moment right now, I can't think of anything more delicious! I just had some spaghetti with red sauce, sauteed mushrooms and kilbasa, (however you spell that) and, of course, a glass of wine. OH. MY. GOD. I have had the ingredients for WEEKS and just finally put them together. Tonight was the NIGHT, you know? It wasn't a lot. Just about a cup of spaghetti and probably about 1/2 c of sauce, by OH MY, that was SO delicious! I had a granola bar for bfast, and a turkey sandwich with cheese, lettuce, tomato, avocado (ABOCATHO!... AH, my old friend!!!) ....and grape jelly. Yes, I said GRAPE JELLY. Don't knock it til you try it, seriously. Putting jam/jelly on my sandwiches is my latest addiction. It all started with the turkey/cranberry sandwich from paradise bakery...(switch the rye bread out for a croissant and you feel like you've eaten sweet baby jesus. In a good way.) Anyway, I was craving one, but didn't have the mula, and I also didn't have any cranberry sauce. So I improvised. I've been addicted ever since.

OKAY PEOPLE!!! I've got some FRIGGIN AWESOME NEWS today. My cousin Stephanie just moved in with me! It's so funny how when you live with someone you love, it just instantly feels like home. I've lived in this apartment now for almost 6 months, and while it's been really awesome, it still felt like an apartment. After work, I came home, walked through the door and it smelled different. It smelled warm. It felt warm. It was all things good. I felt so good and welcome in my home! Like it was just waiting for me to be here....

Steph was totally passed out in her bed. Lol... but that's just fine! It's her home too, now. I hope she stays. Honestly, guys? I'm kind of a biotch sometimes. Okay, a LOT of the time. No, seriously. I'm not really EVER very considerate; I think of myself a lot. But Steph has really sacrificed a lot to come here. I'm so glad she did, I just really hope it turns out to be everything she wants it to be. :) I can only hope good things for her, cause she's SUCH a great girl.

Okay..... so maybe I've had more than one glass of wine. More like 3.... okay fine, 4. Which means I'm purty.... whateva right now. I'll be so happy if I read this tomorrow and everything is spelled right!!!! I'm watching 'Fools Rush In' right now....HAhahahaha! OOOooohhh... that Matthew Perry!

BUMMER SUMMER(S)!!!!!!

Baby......IM BACK!

Hey ya'll, I hope you're in for some SERIOUS blogging!

Don't believe me?

Well...... I don't really blame you. My blog's been dead for over a YEAR now... yilch. I SUCK! But I've got some good news! Okay, I've got some FRIGGIN GREAT news! I've been going to the gym tues-thurs for THREE WEEKS STRAIGHT! No - I'm serious. My good buddy Angie-pants has been coming with me for motivation, and we've been faithfully speed walking/jogging our flat butts off on the treadmills! Not only that, but we've done some pretty intense arm/abs/leg work outs too! I'm super excited about ALL of this, but honestly? I haven't dropped a pound. NOT ONE POUND! And I think I know why.... :( I STILL EAT LIKE SHIT. So here we go again! I'm gonna have to read back through my past entries and figure out what I was doing, cause I don't remember much other than IT WAS WORKING!

SO! Strap up, ladies and gents and prepare to watch me TRANSFORM! I'm bringing this blog beast BACK TO LIFE!!!! Not that I'm looking that bad... I've got some SMOKIN curvies goin on.... but I think more curves and less LUMPS would be SUPER hot.

...YAY!
...I'm so excited....and isn't my hair getting long?! IT'S SO PRETTY!!! :)

Here we go again!

Okay guys, I have not written in a WHILE! It's because I'm a jerk. I have been doing NOTHING worth blogging about.... or so I thought! Last week, I didn't swim and I ate at a buffet and stuffed myself so full, my pants didn't fit for 3 days; but guess what happened? I lost another 1.5 pounds that week! I guess I'm doing better than I thought. :) I still have about 6 weeks until doomsday, (Alaska!) and I really seriously hope to be 15 pounds lighter in that time. So! Yet again... after taking a not so much needed break, I am climbing right back up on that wagon and buckling down! Smaller portions, less carbs, NO DAIRY! I've been eating the occasional cheese now and then, but I haven't had any cows milk, sour cream, yogurt or other forms of dairy for about a month! Maybe that's why I'm still losing weight...? In any case, I haven't given up yet, folks! I am on the radar again! Thanks to those of you who show support... 11 followers! Gettin up there! :)

Day 48: Can I get a HELL YEAH!!!!

Okay, so ummmm.... weigh day? YES! I was SOOO suprised! Cause I weighed myself at like, 4pm after I had eaten lunch AND cheated on my 'snack' of two mini bags of mini eggs....(girl scout cookies, mini eggs... it never ends, does it?!) I'm down 2.4 Ibs since THURSDAY!!! Can I get a HELL YEAH?! Woot!!! I'm so excited! And now I feel super duper bad for not swimming today. :( I actually only had the temporary pass to the YMCA and it expired on Saturday. They want a down payment plus first months, but I'm sort of addicted to saving my money lately, and I can't bring myself to pull the funds from my savings account, so I'll just have to wait until I get paid on Friday. Until then, I'll do walking and more Wii. Speaking of which, I did AWESOME at the Wii today. If anyone can beat my 866 spins on SuperHulaHoop, please let me know. I'll think you're lying, but we can most def have a hula hoop play off sometime. For shizzle. Eating wise I did supa dupa. Matthew and I did some paper mache masks today, and that was a lot of fun, but we had to go to the grocery store for some balloons, and (of course), it's easter season! And there are mini eggs EVERYWHERE!!! Gahh!!! Last year, I bought like, 4 monster bags, hoping that would last me until they were gone from all the stores, and I ended up eating them all in a week. THAT'S RIGHT. NO JOKE, and NO bueno, either. :( But this year, I was trying to avoid them altogether....until the balloons were in the same aisle. (EEeek!) So, the ginormous bags were on sale for like, $4 each along with the Robins Eggs, so I grabbed both bags, hardly thinking at all. It was totally like a reflex. Then, I saw the medium bags of mini eggs on sale for 2 for $6 along with the reeces eggs, which I ADORE as well, so I put down the ginormous bags and just picked out two of the mediums. Then, feeling SOOO bad about it, but knowing I just couldn't pass them by, I turn to find these teensy tiny single serving bags of mini eggs for just 2 for $1. Thank the Lord! He is kind, and he has mercy on me. :) I did grab 6 bags, but I put them all away (out of sight, out of mind, right?) And I'm so happy about the tiny bags because I'm less likely to tear open all six bags at once and eat them all; the bigger bags just make it so much easier to eat lots of them. :( So I gave in and ate two bags, but that's not so bad, I guess. Hopefull I can just AVOID them until after Easter. Anyway, breakfast was a bowl of the Bear Naked Banana Nut cereal and almond milk. For lunch I ate a delicious sandwich made of herb infused turkey, cheese and avocado. I also had apple slices dipped in pb. Dinner was just a pb & chocolate shake, but suprisingly, here it is 9pm and I'm still not hungry. YAY. I think it's the adrenaline of knowing I lost 2.4 Ibs this weekend. I'm so skinny. :)

Day 47

PAM!!! Thanks for your comment! It was so sweet, I read it like, 12 times before I wrote todays blog! Comments like yours are what keep me committed to my blog. I love you and your support....and you can tell BOB that he is TOTALLY missing out! :)

Weigh day today! WOOT!!! I'll post my 'success' (premature thinking is ALWAYS a good idea...) tomorrow. I did awesome yesterday. Started with a banana and water for breakfast. NOT ideal, but better than nothing, and I was running out the door... why, you ask? I'll tell you why! I went to church! GO ME! Hahaha... for the first time in almost a year, I went to CHURCH! It was actually awesome. The sermon was all about abortion and politics. A new church, with a pastor named Odor. Pastor Odor. Baha! But he didn't stink! He was great! I went to IHOP for lunch after, and I was SUCH a good girl this time, ordering a mushroom and spinach omelet (I didn't even eat the whole thing... it was HUGE) and a side plate of fruit. Half way through my fruit, my 3 yr old date started helping himself, so we shared it. Hahah!! It was cute tho, cause he kept saying, "Hey look! Another gwape!" And ate all my 'gwapes'. Then I teased him that he must not like watermelon, and of course, he then tackled all of those too. Hee hee....kids. I didn't eat dinner until like, 10 o'clock at night...(bad me...) but it was SOOOO good when I did! 2 oz of roasted pork tenderloin with roasted small potatoes and steamed broccoli. You know me... meat and potatoes are ALWAYS a treat! I didn't swim, cause the pool is closed Sundays and no park either...I'm a bad dog mommy. :( We're going on Wednesday no matter WHAT the weather is. I feel so bad!

Day 46

Eeeeghads! I had SUCH a good day today! For starters, TITO: I swam an extra FIVE laps. :) 35 laps in the pool today! WOOT! But I may have been a little lax on some of those laps, since it took me 50 minutes to do all 35. :( BAD, cause the pool is closed tomorrow. I should have swam 70 laps. Or 100! I got this new Bear Naked cereal/granola stuff with dried banana slices...SO GOOD! I had 2 bowls with soy milk, which only added to about 400 calories; and today I took a little trip to the local grocery store to get some magazines...(I've been doing some artwork lately...mainly collages for McKenna in the form of enormous envelopes)...and I happened upon the diet book section. There was a book swearing up and down that you can eat whatever you want (donuts, ice cream, pancakes, steak, BREAD), WHATEVER! As long as you eat it before 9am. It's called the 'BIG BREAKFAST DIET'. I'm all about eating tons of food, so I thought that might be the diet for me. But then I saw this book called 'Eat This, Not That: the Restaurant Guide' and it showed a really yummy looking burger that was 1100 calories, and then Red Robins Guacamole burger for only 600 cals! And it said to eat it! So? I was all.... 'Okay, sure!' :) But I didn't. I resisted...for then. I had it for dinner instead. Baha! But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. I ended up going home and having 'the usual', but this time I had it on a whole wheat tortilla; OM-FREAKIN-G. For reals, It was sooooo good, guys. I almost cried. I LOVE sandwiches! Does anyone NOT love sandwiches?! So... I went on a date. This guy took me to dinner tonight, and I said, 'why not go to Red Robin?' ....I'm so bad. So we go to Red Robin. And I looked phenomenal!!! :) So Louis (our waiter) comes to take our order and I look over at my date, (remember: this is a FIRST date), and I say, 'I'm totally getting a burger. Is that breaking rules? The girls supposed to get a salad on the first date, right?' He started laughing and said, 'No, I think that's HOT!' Hahahaha!!! Thank God, cause I REALLY wanted that guacamole burger! Hee hee hee....

Day 45

I broke the chain!!!! I didn't go swimming yesterday. :( My cousin called me while I was on my way and she was all, 'we never hang out anymore!!!' and I was all, 'you're right' and she was all, 'come over! let's do stuff!' and I did. Spent the day with my cousin. It was really fun tho. But I started the day so well with a vanilla protein shake and all. Then we went to Sonic for lunch and I just LOVE the chicken toaster sandwich. And I got it. :( Okay FINE I also got an ice cream. But I skipped dinner. Somehow I wasn't hungry at the end of the day. :( Can you believe how short this blog is? It's like I'm jipping you.

COMBO!!! Days 43 & 44

Okay, so I usually post the day after, but since it's 11:10 at night, I haven't posted for yesterday yet and I'm not eating anything else, you get both days rolled into one. :) So.... I finally got my bagel with cream cheese. It's true. I've been eating WAY too many bagels lately, but who can help it? I mean, really? They're delish! I also had two strips of bacon. THEN... I swam 30 laps. In 40 minutes. PROGRESS!!! That's 10 minutes away from my goal! I'm such a rockstar. Totally gonna be skinny like, TOMORROW. Lunch was possibly the awesomest I've had in forever, but I bought enough ingredients so that I'm going to be eating it for about the next week, so when I say 'I had the usual for lunch today', you'll know it was this: a sandwich. But the greatest sandwich on Gods green earth. Okay: 2 slices 45 calorie SaraLee whole wheat bread, 2T mayo, 1T mustard, 1 vine ripe tomato, 1/2 avocado (ABOCATHO!), 1 slice colby jack cheese, 2 oz lean turkey breast and kale. I steam the kale VERY slightly...just until it's that beautiful bright green color....(YUM).... I'm telling you people, Subway ain't got shit on me. THIS is a sandwich. Steamed asparagus and a glass of soy or almond milk and this is one very ROUND meal. And by round, I mean my tummy hurts when I'm done packing it all in, but I'm okay with that. :) Seriously tho. I usually spell 'EAT ME' with the mustard. Just a little joke....
So dinner was....what was dinner? Oh yeah. It was pizza. 3 pieces. How could I forget?! I was so mad at myself! AND 2 cookies! Crapola. Whatever. I did extra Wii.
Okay, but TODAY was... better? Yes, better. Because I did the Wii in the morning (again) and guess what?! I've lost another 1Ibs! This means the swimming really is paying off! Imagine what would happen if I actually ate right..... scary. Anyway! It still says I'm 'obese', so screw the Wii. I had to be to work earlier today AND the girls took FOREVER this morning and were late for school which left me with only 30 mins to swim. I tried my best, but only did 20 laps. Bummer. I'll have to make up the other 10 tomorrow. No biggie. I'm so excited tho, cause I did freestyle the whole time with absolutely no breaks. NONE. Not a one. Just a straight 20 laps right in a row. I mean, can YOU do that?! Seriously, I want someone to come swimming with me so I can show you how much better I am at it. Come on, I'm a fat girl. I need this. Volunteers? I always think of funny things to put in my blog while I'm in the water, and I never remember them when I'm at my computer. Lame.
Food wise, I did REALLY well... until Dawn brought me cookies. You guessed it; GIRLSCOUT cookies. I mean, I don't think I've ever seen more gs cookies in my entire life! For reals? Why are they suddenly popping up everywhere?! I ate a whole box of peanut butter patties. Yes, a whole box. For bfast: 1 lowfat pancake with 2T sugar free syrup.....hahaha! Do they even make lowfat pancakes? I lied. I made these from scratch and - trust me - they were NOT lowfat. And ever since I lived in Colorado with my dear Aunt Noma/Betty Crocker, I have made my own syrup...and I make it with nothing BUT sugar. But I did only have 1 cake and 2T of syrup. :) Lunch was 'the Usual' :) But I only had 5 minutes to eat it, so I HOOVERED my whole plate. Not good. My stomach was SO full! Oh, and SO good.... And I skipped dinner today.... Apparently, making up for it with that box of cookies. Rrrr... Oh yes, I also ate a bag of popcorn. But it was a healthy pop single serving bag, which is only 1 weight watcher point for the whole bag. Yay.

Day 42: CHEATER!!!

Love Ben. Who knows that I love Ben, raise of hands? *sigh...
Ok, so I usually measure myself around 2pm everyday. But today I measured myself at 7am.... I needed a boost of good juju. (Fyi, if you measure yourself in the mornings, you're bound to be just a little lighter than the afternoon, due to a solid 8 hours of no eating, just digesting....which is why you should actually always weigh in in the mornings - after you poop.) So! My confidence is boosted, cause I weighed in 1.3 Ibs lighter than yesterday! Woot! Okay, swimming here I come! Hee hee... but let me tell you about yesterday, day 42.
I started off bad, but not so much. I made pancakes for the girls, and obviously made myself some too. (I heart pancakes.) But I put butter on them that tasted freezer burnt, so I only had a few bites. No, really. Like - 3 bites total. I swam my 30 laps only this time it was easier. It took me about 45 mins this time, so I'm 15 minutes away from my goal. Harder, faster. I can do it. I know I'm getting better, cause I can actually breath the whole time now. It was hard for me to breath correctly when I first started, and I found myself keeping my head out of the water most of the time, but yesterday I did the whole shebang, breathing and all. No problems. :) For lunch I did HORRIBLY cause I usually eat with Matthew, but when I got to work I found he had already eaten, so I was forced to stop by somewhere on our way to the Natural History museum and pick something up - McD's. Oh, my old friend. I will not lie. I had my old favorite: 2 Hot n Spicey McChickens with tomato and a large fry. Okay, that's not all. My cousin, Anya, came with me, and she ordered chicken strips and didn't eat them all. Damn her. I had two of them. The were tasty. I'm SUCH an EATER! Gah! But anyway....Dinner was the only really sensible meal I had: Italian sausage with grilled peppers and onions. Mmmmm. It was delicious. Oh yes, and somewhere in the day I also had one of those 100 calorie packs; chocolate covered pretzels. YUM.

Oh, and this just in: I may have a stalker. His name is Ryan Facebook. Okay, 'Facebook' isn't his real last name, but again: changing names to protect the handsome. I kind of 'hope' he's stalking, anyway. Let's be on the look out, shall we? Mmmm....

Day 41: The truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me....HAMBURGER

Okay, soooo.... Day 41 was NOT so good. I diluted myself into thinking I could do a liquid only diet, since I had done so horribly bad over the weekend. Ummm... by 5pm, I was so hungry/munchy, I could have eaten a cow (especially dipped in chocolate... gross). But really, I'd had soy milk with protien in it for bfast, and a pb and banana shake for lunch, and lots of water. By dinner, I wanted FOOD. And not just any food. I knew I had that 'fat-girl-eat-now' look in my eye as I raided the fridge for something that looked tasty and was healthy all at the same time. There was some ground turkey, lettuce and avocado, so you know what I was thinking? HAMBURGER SALAD!!! You remember this, right? From my first week? Absolutely delicious salad with all the fixin's of a hamburger, sans the bun? Well, about half way through cooking the turkey meat, I happened to look at the expiration date of the package, and it said 2-18-10. Bummer. I'd already chopped all the other ingredients, so I ate the salad sans meat as well; it was NOT satisfying. So I ate pizza. Two slices. I should have stopped there, but two hours later, sitting in front of my tv watching my fav show, I was munchy. I wanted that bagel with cream cheese that I never got, but pb sounded better yet again. Bad enough? Not even. Dawn came home with her kids with a sack from Burger King, reaking of the ever-pleasant 'whopper' aroma. I caved. Again. It was a whopper jr, but honestly, what's the point of a whopper jr? All the calories at half the size? Uuuugggghhh!!!! All of this was SUCH a disapointment, ESPECIALLY considering the fact that I swam 30 laps yesterday. 30 LAPS!!! It's a 25 yard pool, so that's 1500 yards, my friends. Yep. I was feeling pretty good with myself until I weighed in 1.5 Ibs heavier than Thursday. So what did I do? I went on to eat like crap. Crap. What a waste. Why am I not sticky?!

Day 40

Here is where I need to keep my mind in the game. You see, for some reason, even when I'm losing weight like crazy, I just don't want to stick to things. Ever. My siblings can attest to this. I'm not very sticky. :/ I wanted a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast, but I had no cream cheese so I settled for a bagel and peanut butter; which, it turns out, is better for me anyway, since I'm trying to swear off dairy. And the bagel was whole wheat. Lunch was a vanilla shake and dinner.... oh, dinner.... I had this enormous craving for huge, soft and still crunchy, restaurant style french fries. And a pineapple burger. From Red Robin. Alas, I gave in. A burger and a basket of fries. You see? Here I am, losing A POUND A DAY and I decide I don't want to anymore. What is WRONG with me?! On the up side, I did bring along my Rick Warren biography to read, and I actually got in to it. I'd never heard of Rick Warren before I picked his bio from a stack of books at the library. Anyway, I went home and ate two huge homemade chocolate chip cookies. AND ON TOP OF EVERYTHING, I DIDN'T EXERCISE. The pool was closed AND it rained all day, so I didn't take Pheobes out or anything. Pah. I guess it was my lazy day. That's what we'll call it. I've decided to do a cleansing day for day 41. It's gonna be nothing but liquids. We'll see how I do.... until then!

Day 39: PIZZA....

It's amazing how much pizza I'll eat when it's available. Honestly. There it was in my fridge: a whole pizza. Perfectly perfect in every way. I ate two slices for lunch and two slices for dinner. (Along with 4 chocolate chip cookies that Dawn made. Brat.) I had Total with soy milk for breakfast, so that wasn't all bad. And a glass of soy milk with lunch and dinner. Pfff. Anyway, I can't feel super bad about it. I just can't! You know why? Because I swam 25 laps on day 39. Yes, you read it right. No mistake. Here, I'll write it again: I swam TWENTY FIVE LAPS. I just couldn't stop myself! I wanted to do extra because of the cookie catastrophe yesterday, so I just kept swimming! 25! I'm amazing, I have to say. It's kind of disgusting just how much I love to swim. Except I'm a little nervous about Sunday. I read somewhere in the Bible that the Devil owns the water. Especially on Sundays. So I think it might be blasphemous to swim on Sundays. Oh! I think the YMCA is closed Sundays. Maybe. Hopefully. Cause then that will make my decision for me. But in any case, I don't work on Sunday, so I'm going to take Pheobes to the park again. But I'll walk the whole time this time. That'll be my exercise. I had a little chit chat with my buddy Ryan last night. (Ryan is this insanely adorable and totally great looking guy I met in Colorado. He's completely in love with me and has therefore sworn off women. Poor guy.) He tells me he used to be a fat kid, but I think he's lying. I mean, where's the proof? Like this girl I work with; she's like, 120Ibs soaking wet, and today she tells me that she's had every surgery there is to look like that. At age 18 she weighed 275 and was wearing a size 24. So she had her stomach stapled....and re-stapled....and tucked....and re-tucked....and so surgical skinniness ensued. It's all true, I've seen her scars. I didn't believe it til I saw them. But Ryan? He's such a cutie. Never had a fat day in his life. For shizzle. :)

Oi vie... I just realized that I've got to do 26 laps tomorrow.... Yeah. Extra laps? NOT my best idea. :(