Broken or whole, a Cookie never rejects you...

Hahahaha... the tag line is just an AWESOME quote I heard from the movie "Lying to be Perfect". It's a lifetime original and you can watch it online at mylifetime.com. Totally worth it, I think. It's true! A cookie never rejects you. :( Or a brownie. I'm really a brownie lover, myself. Anyway, my new attempt at regular excersize is that I've posted an ad on craigslist: Wanted: an equally overweight, twenty-something female walking partner. No responses yet, but I just posted this morning. And while we're on the excersize subject, the reason I said no excersize comments is not because I don't believe it's the answer. Of COURSE it's the answer. I'm not trying to find some magical mystical crazy way to suddenly be thin. I know the way to be thin: make healthy food decisions and EXCERSIZE. Which, I am trying to do. What I meant by the 'no excersize' comment is that I need something to do to distract me. I can eat while I'm working. I can eat at the library. I can eat when I'm walking. I can ALWAYS eat. I can't even think of a scenario where food is not an option. No matter what you are doing, you can always eat or snack. I want an alternative. Does that make sense? Eating is really emotional for me and when something happens to boost my emotions, I eat. I can't go jump on a treadmill in the middle of a work day, but I can grab a bag of chips. I can't do sit-ups on the library floor, but I can eat a cookie while I'm browsing. I know this is SUCH a bogus thing to be blogging about, but I just wanted to clarify what I meant. And I love my followers. I LOVE my followers! I just really wish some of you lived close enough to me to come on a walk with me. :( That's all.

Something really bad happened on Tuesday. I found out about it late that night. Which is why I spent the majority of Wednesday eating crap. I don't think I even had one bit of real food on Wednesday. I ate cake for breakfast, brownies for lunch and a homemade pizza (by homemade, I mean I ate a little bit of crust with my mountain of cheese) for dinner. I polished off the day with two glasses of wine. Yeah. Talk about emotional. And there's something about baking that really makes me feel better, which is where the cake and brownies came from. Okay, I always forget that people really read these, but I want you all to know that after the initial embarrassment that I ALWAYS feel, I am sooo happy for all of your helpful comments, texts and messages. THANK YOU!! I know I'm in a bit of a rut now, but I'll work my way out of it. I always do, but I've never had such an amazing support system. Love you guys!!!!

Day 28

I weighed myself. It's not good. I suck so hard at this. I'm destined to be a fat girl forever. I think the problem is that I don't have a problem with that. SAD! According to Wii fit, I am obese but my wii fit age is 26, (which is exactly how old I am in truth) and that I'm in good shape. How can an obese person be in good shape? Maybe because I'm not so obese? Maybe just comfortably padded in all the right places? (Maybe not all the right places. My butt could use a little more padding. Or a lot.) Anyway, the point is: half a pan of brownies, cookies, chocolate in general and normal things like bread, pasta, pizza, cheese and yogurt are all things that I LOVE. Oooh! And MILK. I am SUCH a dairy queen. Anyway, I'm going to try something new. I don't know what yet, but I am determined to become healthier MY way. I don't want to go without the things I love and I know the rule of moderation but how exactly do you apply it when you are such an emotional eater? I actually know the answer to that: I need to get a hobby or something that I can do when I'm stressed or angry or tired or happy. (Those are the emotions I eat after.....and there are many more, but it just seems so pathetic to list them.) So, any suggestions? Something I can do at any time, in any place, no matter what. And if anyone suggests excersize, I will block them from my blog. I don't know if I can do that, but don't think I won't try! Okay, people, support group is in session! Please! Help!

Day Something or other

I forgot to look at which day this was before I posted, so you get to figure it out! I did sooo good yesterday! I even went to McD's and got a SALAD. No, really! A salad! No burger, fries.... but I did get a diet coke. Still drinking crap, I know. Bad Michele! Anywho, a shake for bfast. Banana Strawberry Vanilla... YUM! For those of you that don't know, when I drink a shake, it's a protein shake. A ginormous bag of protein powder only costs like, $15 at Walmart and the same thing costs $60 elswhere, so I recommend Walmart. :) Anyway, I blend it with 2 scoops powder, 1 cup ice and 1 cup water (or milk substitute) and then any fruit I want. Usually banana. But I added strawberries this morning and THAT was a stroke of genius if I've ever had one. :) I forgot to weigh myself today. Forgot, or woke up feeling '1/2 a pan of brownies' fat, so I didn't want to. Either way, I didn't. So I'll weigh myself tomorrow morning and see if that helps. Oh, yes. Okay, bfast: shake, lunch: McD's Southwest salad (grilled chicken, no dressing. It comes with lime wedges so I squeezed those all over the salad and seriously, you guys. You really don't need dressing.) I wanted a fruit and yogurt parfait, but I resisted (and I'm still regretting it...). I didn't eat dinner til like, 1130 cause I was working. I shouldn't have eaten at all that late, but I was SO HUNGRY. That's what I get for being lazy and skipping my snacks. But I had spaghetti squash...(which, by the way, covered in meatsauce, you can't really even tell the difference). It was good! Totally wanted garlic bread, but again, I resisted and PREVAILED!!! Mostly just cause if I really wanted it, I would have to make it and it was 1130 at night! Who makes garlic bread at 1130 at night?.......... Okay, fat kids do. And I maybe have once or twice, but NOT last night! :) I even took Pheobes on a walk! Okay, it was only 15 minutes... but it was late and I was tired and something is better than nothing! Good day. I feel a great 'weigh day' coming on tomorrow.

Day 26: BROWNIES.

THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENT PAM!!! :)

No, brownies are DEFINATELY not part of my diet. But I ate them. I ate half a pan of them. Gross. I'm gross! But the brownies weren't gross. The brownies were DELICIOUS. I'm starting to think maybe I just can't do this. Not enough will power, you know? I did takes Pheobes out for a run tho. A RUN! For reals. And there probably wasn't anything funnier than my running uphill on pavement and Pheobes trotting beside me. My pants kept falling down so I had to hold them up with one hand!!! Bahahaha!!! Now, that's just funny. Seriously. Heehehehe.. Anyway, bfast started out well: scrambled eggs and bacon. Lunch was half a chicken breast with salad and dinner was my FAVORITE. A huge, bloody steak with half a baked potatoe and brussel sprouts. I don't like brussel sprouts tho. Don't tell Dawn, but I chucked those. Bleh. I did have sour cream on my steak, tho. If you've never tried it, you should. It's better than steak sauce. I prefer horsey sauce on my steak, but if that's not available, sour cream it is! And sour cream it was!!! Which, of course, sour cream isn't part of my diet. AND I had half a pan of brownies. (They were sooo good!) But tomorrow is weigh day, so we'll see what kind of damage I've done then. :( Boo hoo.

Day 25! See? I got there.

Ha! Day 25... I was thinking about starting over and calling it day 1 or maybe day 7; you know, picking up where I left off. But, no. I ultimately decided that to be true to myself and this diet, I've got to be honest with when I started, what I ate, when I screwed up and whatever. So it's Day 25 guys. And before I get started, can I just say: I LOVE YOU, CELESTIAL!!! Yes, that right! My baby sister. She's getting married. The engagement isn't 'official' yet.... whatever that means.... but MY BABY SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED!!! :( and :) I'm so conflicted! Lol! But not really. I LOVE Marty. It just means that I'm the last one left COMPLETELY UNHITCHED! Ba!! And on top of that, I've taken a vow not to kiss ANY boys this summer in Alaska. Why, you ask? Because this summer is about saving money, discovering Alaska and discovering myself. :) It's the Michele club. No boys allowed. He he....
Oh, right. The diet. So, yesterday was awesome. I had a protein shake for bfast: strawberry/chocolate....YUM. No snack, cause I wasn't hungry. Lunch was picnic in the park with Matthew! Such a cutie.... I ate egg salad (literally.... like, boiled eggs over a bed of wild greens, bacon and tomatos). I think I'll have a hamburger salad tomorrow. Because, really? It's only the greatest salad yet. I miss it! :( Snack of green beens...(my new fav veggie)... and 2 oz turkey. Then I had vegetable soup for dinner. HOMEMADE veggie soup. Like, friggin delish. Carrots, celery, corn, potatoes and green beans all boiled in a chicken broth. Okay, I had two bowls. I love soup. I ate another cookie tho. Damn cookies. Obviously my weakness. :(

Hey Guys! Still no 'Day' Day. But I'll figure it out....

OK! Freakin good day yesterday! I wasn't able to take Pheobes on a walk, cause I was working from 630am to 1130pm... (literally... sometimes, having two or five jobs suck....) But! I did really well eating wise! I had a pb & j for lunch, but that's it for the cheat scale! A vanilla strawberry protein shake in the morning, 2 oz of chicken for snack and the cheat for lunch. You will NEVER guess what I had for dinner! Hahaha!!! Okay, I'll tell you. Asparagus. Like, JUST asparagus. Kind of a really unexplainable amount. :( !!! I guess that's not really bad, since asparagus IS a green veggie, and that's what this diet is all about, but GEESH! I don't know what came over me. It was kind of funny cause there were about 25 spears in the fridge from a previous dinner, so I loaded about 10 onto a plate and warmed them up while I was looking for some protein. But once I started munching on the asparagus spears, I just couldn't stop!!! :/ I put the rest of them on the plate and warmed those up too! Finished off the meal with a tall glass of water and that was that! Lol... I really like asparagus. Gross, right? Meh....

NEW POST!!!

Okay, I think I should start over, cause I really don't know which day this is. Sigh... I've been so bad! I thought it would be fun to blog, and I knew I wouldn't be able to keep dieting without the motivation from my friends and family, so I started this blog! As it turns out, I'm not entirely sure I really like blogging! But, as my oh-so-kind cousin Teresa let me know, I am totally rude! I did beg for everyone to follow, and since I am seriously whitty and adorably funny in my blogs, I got you all hooked.... AND THEN LEFT YOU HANGING!!! I'm such a jerk. Well, here is what has been going on....

I got sick for a few days, and so I stopped dieting, and so I stopped blogging! Then, I got back on the diet for a couple days and then started my period. (I don't care who knows. I'm a 26 year old woman. I get periods.) And THAT was NOT fun. So I stopped dieting again, because all I wanted was Diet Coke, Ibuprofen and fudge. For three days. YIKES. Anyway, I got back on the horse last week, and dieting has been good! I can really feel the energy that I have spike when I'm doing well. Also, I've been taking Pheobe (aka: pheoburrito) to the dog park twice a week, and walking her EVERY night. YES! Every night! She loves it! And she's such a good walk-dog! She doesn't pull or anything, and she stays right by me! I love her. So, I've lost an additional 7 pounds. I lost a total of 9 the first week, but I put 6 back on with my fudge eater craze. (I pack on weight quick... it's sick....) Anyway, total I've lost about 12 pounds, give or take. I'm going to start blogging again, I promise! And I won't let you down again! Grrr... I'm such a jerk! :) OH! And from today, my friend Haylie and I are having a contest. We're going to Alaska in May, so we've decided to lose 20 Ibs before we go. The first 12 don't count, cause we just made this promis today. So I've got 20 Ibs and about 10 weeks! 2 Ibs a week is really do-able. Tally Ho!