New Year, Same Me..........New Habits??

Ok, so it's March.  Where has this year gone?!  I've been working toward bettering myself and investing in my future.  In general, I've always been satisfied with the person that I am.  I have a close, loving family, supportive, creative, loving friends, and my dream job.  Literally.  I also have the worlds most adorable kitten, (no, I'm not joking.  He's my precious........), and a small, but cute

apartment that's all mine.  Things are going well.  And I've decided to keep that momentum.  I am currently attempting to master the fine art of cooking healthy, for one.  Lol.... It can be difficult, but mostly it's fun.  I spent an hour and a half cooking one simple meal of Chicken, Rice and Broccoli last night.  HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO COOK BROWN RICE?!  My sister, Gloria, thought that rice cookers were the most ridiculous thing ever.  She claimed that rice was the most simple dish ever.  Pft!  I disagreed. Are you kidding me?!  I was always burning rice. Well, first on my list of, "Things I must learn when

cooking for one", was mastering rice in a pot. Which I did! My WHITE rice comes out perfectly cooked Every. Single. Time.  So why is brown rice different?  Three nights in a row now, I've made brown rice, and it always comes out partially uncooked. Grrrrrr..... What do I need?  More heat?  Less heat?  More water? Less rice? Whatever.  I will keep going until I get it right.  In any case, my dinners over the last few nights have been absolutely delicious. And all I can think of is just how great I feel when I'm putting together a health, yummy meal for one; or when I'm balancing my carefully planned budget; or giving up a weekend vacation so that I have money to pay for my Dental Bills.  :(  I actually feel accomplished.  I feel ready.  Not sure for what, but just..... ready.  It's truly a great feeling.  :)

Maybe I'll be ok.

Six months ago, my Dr. diagnosed me with diabetes.  I have to take metformin 2x a day.  :(  On top of my anxiety medication and my birth control, I feel constricted.  I take pills every morning at 8:45.  And unfortunately, if I take my birth control too much later or earlier than I did the day before, I risk throwing off my hormones.  :(  I am not a fan.  Of hormones.  Or pill.  Waaaa!!!  And to make matters works, Trump is president.  Aye.  Oh, what a world.

In other news, I stepped on the scale this morning, and much to my surprise, it read '275'.  Which is crazy because just a couple weeks ago I was weighing in at 287.  I guess I can chalk it up to being poor, tho.  I really have not been watching what I eat, or, God forbid, excersizing!   But I have had a really tight budget lately, so there's a lot more eating at home and packing lunches than I'm used to.  I guess it's a good boost, since I WILL begin working out with my little sister come Monday.  The dreaded MONDAAAAAAAY.  Why do people always start Monday?  Like it's the perfect day to start, because it's the beginning of the week?  I feel like it's maybe the WORST day to start.  Everyone hates Mondays.  But I've had a very expensive gym membership for several months now, and I've only used it like, 3 times.  :(  If I'm going to waste the money on an expensive club membership, I should at lease use it, right?  Blech.  As stated in my previous post, I lack motivation these days.  Especially now that I have my very own place!  All I want to do after work is hunker down with my Prince Henry (yes, he's a cat.  I'm a cat lady now.) and watch movies until I'm tired.  Then I sleep.  Until 7.  7:30.  Okay, usually 7:45.  Although my alarm clock goes off at 7 EVERY SINGLE MORNING.  I hit snooze.  twice.  Sometimes thrice.  I am so. un. motivated. But my seester wants us to get to the gym by 6 am Monday Tuesday Thursday Friday.  I have no idea how imma do it.  BUT I WILL!!!!!  Though I lack motivation, I really have a desire to loose weight and move more.  I'm so sloth-like!  I absolutely hate it.  Also, don't tell anyone, but sometimes I smoke.  There.  I've said it, it's out there.  TELL ME TO QUIT.  But I challenge you to NOT try and educate me on the health implications of it.  That information is totally lost on me.  I already know it.  And I'm smoking anyway.  Any OTHER bits of motivation you can stir up in me to quit?  I'd appreciate it.  :)  LET'S DO THIS.....!!?

Getting older.....

So... here's the thing.  I am getting older.  :(  I feel like I've aged 10 years in the last 5 years.  My skin kind of sucks.  I've developed this annoying, flaky, dry patch between my eyebrows and along the beginning of my right brow.  I'm fatter than ever (284 YIKES!!!).  I cut my hair and now I never feel like doing it, so it hangs lifeless and frizzy at my shoulders.  And, oh yeah!  I lost a tooth.  One that you CAN SEE IN MY SMILE LINE.  Ugh.  I keep telling myself to get up, dust off, and keep trucking.  I've had minor successes in the past, and I know I can do it again!  I don't know if it's getting older, or the redundancy that is making me loose motivation, but I don't feel beautiful anymore.  I have almost always felt beautiful in the past.  No matter what size I am.  And it's honestly still not about the size.  I've lost motivation for simple things like doing my hair and make up.  Simple things that will make be feel so much better, I KNOW it.  But I'm just... not doing them!!!  I feel like picking up this blog AGAIN will help me to feel accountable for what I am/am not doing with myself.
Something super confusing to me is that I actually should be SOARING right now on the emotional wagon.  I have the best job I have ever had in my life and I honestly LOVE it.  I just got my very own adorable apartment, and I can actually afford it!  I bought a new car that has A/C in it!  Things are looking really good.  But there are several things that I just know I am taking advantage of, and I really want it to stop!  I still sneak cigarettes in every once in a while (more often then I'll actually admit), and my eating habits are horrible.  I don't work out.  I don't do my hair.  I don't do my nails.  I don't do my make up.  I don't read.  I don't cook.  I AM A LAZY MOTHER EFFER......

I think I'm getting worked up.  Does this sound like a rant?  It's totally a rant.  I am going to leave you with this:  I will return to the beauty I once was.  I'm not sure how it's going to start, but I'm going to blog about it!  I have not excuses why not to now.  PLEASE HELP ME ON MY JOURNEY!!!!  I really want this to be time I really make it happen.

Bikini Day!

Hi. I've lost some weight. SOME weight. Not a lot. In my case, it's very little. 22 lbs. Yeah, I know.... great job Michele! However, when you start at 269, 22 pounds later is still 244. And honestly, I feel my clothes fitting differently, but they are still the same size clothes. No one even notices. I think I can kind of see a difference in my face.... anyway, it can get kind of frustrating. But I just keep doing what I'm doing. I feel a lot better, that's for damn sure. My roomies and I decided to have a 'family day' at the lake, and it was SO MUCH FUN! We donned our bikini's (except for Eric. Being 'the dude' of the house, he opted for shorts. Lame.), and had ourselves a bonafide lake day. Yup. It was awesome. Until Haylie decided to pull us all under water while Eric photographed it. (Bitch. Love her.) Anyway, the results are below. As you can see, I am still far from Bikini ready, but you know what? I'm thankful for my body. I love it. I am heading full speed toward victory in this weight loss battle, and it FEELS FREAKING GOOD! :D

I'M LOSING IT!!!!

So, if you've read my previous blogs, you know that my sister and I are doing a bikini body challenge. OH. EMM. GEE. I have not been trying. Well....that's not entirely true. I have been cooking many more home made meals. But that's just because fast food is not so readily accessible as it was in Phoenix or Vegas. But I have done NO excersize. Unless you count all the drunk walks home from the bar, which I DO....(because there are MANY). Anyway, we started this challenge about a month ago, and I weighed in at....DRUM ROLL PLEASE....I'M SERIOUSLY ABOUT TO SAY IT....THIS IS BARING ALL, FOLKS....261! No, seriously. Two friggin hundred and sixty friggin one pounds. Well, I SHOCKED myself today when stepping on the scale and seeing the number 246. 246! I've lost 15 pounds! I couldn't believe it. It made me actually want to TRY! I know I can lose more weight. I know I can do it better. I know I can be healthier. This blog has gone on long enough. I'm going to the lose the weight, and turn this blog into a healthy eating blog. I'm so cool. YASSSS! (I SAY my yes's with an A, so I think I should start spelling them that way. It's more accurate. And I am not a liar.) On a side note, I was totally going to write a blog for the fourth of July, but then I went to watch the fireworks and sing 'Merican songs instead. :D These are pics from the beginning of the night. My phone died before we could document the true Red White and Blue Debauchery!

Banana WHAT?!

Banana Pancakes. Not just banana flavored pancakes. And there are no banana chunks in these bad boys. I'm talking: blend a banana in a food processor with an egg, a little cinnamon and vanilla, and voila! Pancake batter. WHAT?! Ridiculous? You don't believe that it's that easy? Well, it is AND it's not. The batter really is as easy as it sounds. It's the cooking part I'm having trouble with. The consistency of these 'pancakes' is similar to a crepe, but somehow still puffy like a pancake. I can't seem to cook them on low enough heat. If I cook them low and long, they get really dark (but they don't taste burnt, so this is how I ended up cooking them all). I did experiment with high and fast, but they just spread all over the pan and they were difficult to flip. I topped them with a delicious peanut butter syrup made from 1 Tsp pb and 2 Tsp agave syrup. You can use whatever syrup you want, tho. All in all a hit, but they took a really long time. I don't think I'll make them again unless I have a griddle. Making them in a pan takes just WAY TOO LONG! Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA AND AMERICA!!!!! My bestie, Jessica Milligan (not Jessica Blow) was born on the fourth of July, just like Uncle Sam. :D Love you both!

coloRADo

Oh, hi guys. So, here's the thing. I really suck at this. The whole blogging thing. But I'd like to get better. So I'm going to try to commit to blogging at least twice a week. We'll say.....Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ok, well maybe I won't exactly commit to certain DAYS, but I will definitely do the the twice a week thing. My sister and I did this super hideous bikini contest last summer. For those of you that don't know..... Rachel and I pretty much have the same body type. That is to say, neither of us really have any business wearing anything close to or resembling a bikini.....Meh. So, the story goes that we were going on vacation to Myrtle Beach, and decided that we were going to lose some weight, and whoever lost the least amount of weight had to wear a very shameful bikini on the beach. Well, I lost. Yes, I will post pictures. Anyway, we are doing it again this summer. The deadline is August 17th. I have no idea how well my sister is doing, but I haven't done shit. (DISCLAIMER! THERE IS SWEARING IN THIS POST!) Teehee..... Okay, so I moved to Colorado (which is totally awesome), and went on a tiny miniature little hike, and then an even tinier miniature bike ride. But I took lots of pictures, so it looked like it was really long. (Totally on purpose). But that's it! I like in the middle of the friggin mountains, but I can't bring myself to actually go out there and enjoy them! (of course, I say this as I sit in my house, typing on my computer, gazing out the window at this lovely day that is quite possibly optimal for hiking.... I'm not exactly an expert tho....) OKAY! So all of this comes down to this moment right now: I'm still not going to be a hiking guru. However, I am determined to make these last 6ish weeks count. So the blogs I write will, again, be all about what I am doing to make them count. Food, exercise, Food, Food. More food than exercise. Might not be any exercise. :( I HATE EXERCISE!!!! My roommate, Eric goes on a daily 100 mile bike ride. Or hike. He's so gross. I prefer to park in the very last stall at Walmart, and walk all the way to the front, and then all the way back to my car with my groceries. That counts. So here's what I ate today: Cheerios with almond milk. And I made myself some chicken and veggies sauteed with Italian dressing for dinner at work tonight....(ugh, nigh shift!). For lunch, I will most likely drink a diet shake and eat an apple or something like that. I will FOR SURE let you know, tho. This is a COMMITMENT!